I've been staring at my screen for almost an hour now. Naka ilang beses na din ako mag palit ng mga titles. The options?
1. Point Blank
2. Con tu adios, ti llevas, mi corazon. Adios Shoti
3. Dead End
4. The End
Well, I settled for the fourth one while making the rest of the options as my sub titles.
Hmmmmm. . . Now, I really don't know how to start this blog. I'm in the mood to write, but not in the mood to think of the words/thoughts to write.
. . .
. . .
Everything is blank for me. Para akong na hypnotized. I really don't have anything in mind. Okay, well I have something that coming into my mind. But the problem is, how to express it here.
. . .
. . .
. . .
Sigh. :(
I hope tama yung spanish ko. And the literal translation? With your goodbye, you take with you my heart. Goodbye Little Brother.
. . .
. . .
. . .
Earlier this morning, someone so dear to me passed away. My little brother passed away. Jae Fen Yoon passed away earlier this morning. Si Jaja ang tumawag sa akin to break the devastating news. He called me around four or five in the morning. Crying. I can hear him sob while he talks on the phone. He told me that Jem was already gone and that he didn't make it. Hindi na niya nakayanan.
The cause of death, SALAD!
Yeah, Salad lang ang rason ng pagkamatay ni Jem. But this is not an ordinary salad. Its a salad na may halong lobster.
Or was it a lobster salad?
Maybe few of you would ask, so whats the big deal?
Here's the deal, Jem have an allergy with lobsters. Shell fish to be exact. Same with me, by the way. And this time, he had a severe allergy attack from it. There had been an inflammation of his throat to the extent na nahihirapan na siya huminga. Because of this, nahimatay siya. This happened yesterday afternoon.
I was informed about his situation around 8 or 9 in the evening. By that time, nasa hospital na sa Hong Kong si Jem, along with Jaja. Also, by that time, he's still unconscious. Wala pa rin siyang malay and naka ventilator siya. The first option daw ng doctors was butasan ang throat ni Jem for him to be able to breath. But then, Ja, upon Tita's advice, suggested if its okay to use ventilators instead. The doctor agreed but with the condition that if this wont work out, then they have to make a hole. HOLEy cow!
DEAD END
Last night, masaya pa kaming nagbibiruan nina Ate Jo and Xing. We even talked about the "plans" by the 14th. Well, only Ate Jo and I were busy talking about it since its a surprise for Xing.
The plans.
Hayz.
Ang napaka ganda and napaka sweet na plano ni Jem this Valentines day for Xing. Want to know about it? Okay, heres the plan.
Jem wanted to surprise Xing this coming 14th. Uuwi siya, with Jaja, this Valentines for him to meet Xing in person. Well, they have something din kasi. I know they have. Anyway, so yun, surprise sana. Isipin mo, from Mainland China, to Hong Kong then finally to Naga City. He'll travel all the way from China to Naga just to meet Xing.
Then, as part of the plan, pag dating nila dito, he'll prepare a Dinner Date with Xing at their place in Villa Concepcion. Of course, kasama kami, pero siyempre, exclusive and garden para sa kanilang dalawa. While the rest of us enjoy the pleasure of the SALA! Then, He'll be the one to cook the food since he's good in cooking (may restaurant kasi sila and they own one franchise of Yellow Cab and another food chain in Manila).
Also, nagpaturo siya kay Jaja on how to play the piano. Xing knows how to play the piano. Kaya just to impress her, magpapaturo daw siya. And the songs, This I Promise You and Sway. Why those songs? The former was Jem's song for Xing. While the latter was Xing's song. May nirecord kasi si Xing na song which she sang herself and posted it in Imeem.
Then he'll buy daw ng isang boquet of white roses. Bakit white roses? 'Cause it symbolizes purity daw.
So to wrap it all up, the plan was:
1. Dinner Date. [Informal date daw sabi ni xing, cause I asked her with some options.]
2. Flowers [and not chocolates, according to xing]
3. Violin [and not piano. Jem plays the violin and any other string instruments. I guess, xing wanted to hear Jem play the violin for her.]
4. A surprise homecoming this Februray 14, 2009.
Then he even told me that he wanted to meet Xing's friends and even the family. Sabi ko na lang, he should take it out step at a time. Now, all those plans were sucked into oblivion! Nawala na ng parang bula. Isang magandang pangarap na sa isang iglap ang biglang gumuho.
I know the plan was simple or so, but its the effort that counts right?
All of the happy memories, the laughters, the 'Kakulitan', and everything else has come to a tragic end. Tragic cause at the very young age, he passed away. Just the thought of him in the hospital, with the ventilators, heart sensor and everything. Or even him with a hole in his throat, gives me goose bumps and makes me want to cry. I can't see my shoti to be in that state. or worse, dead. No, he's not dead. He's just in a vacation wherein theres no means of communication. No internet connection, no mobile signal. A very secluded place in. . . in. . . in Africa. Or. . . or. . . in the Latin Americas or in a place the we never thought existed. Yeah, thats right, he's just gone into a very long vacation. I know I'll be able to see him. I know. Someday well see each other once more.
Right now, I cant help myself but cry. I lost a very special part of my system. My life. A dear brother. A sweet brother.
Shoti, wherever you are. Don't worry too much about tita, or Ja, or Kuya Jawu, or Me. We'll be okay here. I know its hard but we'll be able to cope up with things. As for Xing, don't worry about her, Ate Joan, Jett, Khrisna, Koren, Lhet and I are here for her. Well make sure to keep her smiling. Yan naman ang gusto mo diba? To see her always smile. About your last request, I'll take care of it. I promise.
Shoti, I will surely miss you a lot. Say hi to Grace, Kuya Mike and Mamay for me up there will you? Pati na din kay Bro and Nanay. I know you're happy cause your with Them already. Just look after us, okay. And be her guardian angel.
Xing, if you'll be able to read this [I know you will, the moment you wake up], always remember na andito lang kami. Remember the status message of Ate Joan, we cried with you kanina. And this time, we'll make sure that we'll be there for you no matter what happen. We'll find a way to make you smile. And thank you so much for making my shoti happy for his remaining month. I know na 28 days palang kayo magkakilala but inspite of it, you already became a very special part of Jem. You it naman, right? You made him change and gain more of his self confidence. Thank you for all of the things that you gave to Jem.
Best, I know that your so down right now. I'm sorry if wala ako jan sa tabi mo ngayon to comfort you. But I just want you to know na andito lang ako, and my family to support you. Basta, never lose faith. I know there's something behind all these things. I know Bro has a plan kung bakit niya kinuha agad si Jem. And I think he already had fulfilled his purpose now. Best, just take good care of yourself and always pray. Just remember that Jem never left us at all. He's always with us. All we have to do is look deep within our hearts. Thats the safest place where he can stay right now. The safest place next to the Almighty. I know you'll be able to cope up with what happened, best. If not now, I know, soon you will. Just remember that I'm always here for you.
For those people who are interested to view Jem's blog, to know his thoughts and on how he fall in love, you may visit his blog or multiply site.
Now, let me just quote a song which reminded me of him.
1. Point Blank
2. Con tu adios, ti llevas, mi corazon. Adios Shoti
3. Dead End
4. The End
Well, I settled for the fourth one while making the rest of the options as my sub titles.
Hmmmmm. . . Now, I really don't know how to start this blog. I'm in the mood to write, but not in the mood to think of the words/thoughts to write.
POINT BLANK
. . .. . .
. . .
Everything is blank for me. Para akong na hypnotized. I really don't have anything in mind. Okay, well I have something that coming into my mind. But the problem is, how to express it here.
. . .
. . .
. . .
Sigh. :(
CON TU ADIOS, TI LLEVAS MI CORAZON. ADIOS SHOTI
I hope tama yung spanish ko. And the literal translation? With your goodbye, you take with you my heart. Goodbye Little Brother.
. . .
. . .
. . .
Earlier this morning, someone so dear to me passed away. My little brother passed away. Jae Fen Yoon passed away earlier this morning. Si Jaja ang tumawag sa akin to break the devastating news. He called me around four or five in the morning. Crying. I can hear him sob while he talks on the phone. He told me that Jem was already gone and that he didn't make it. Hindi na niya nakayanan.
The cause of death, SALAD!
Yeah, Salad lang ang rason ng pagkamatay ni Jem. But this is not an ordinary salad. Its a salad na may halong lobster.
Or was it a lobster salad?
Maybe few of you would ask, so whats the big deal?
Here's the deal, Jem have an allergy with lobsters. Shell fish to be exact. Same with me, by the way. And this time, he had a severe allergy attack from it. There had been an inflammation of his throat to the extent na nahihirapan na siya huminga. Because of this, nahimatay siya. This happened yesterday afternoon.
I was informed about his situation around 8 or 9 in the evening. By that time, nasa hospital na sa Hong Kong si Jem, along with Jaja. Also, by that time, he's still unconscious. Wala pa rin siyang malay and naka ventilator siya. The first option daw ng doctors was butasan ang throat ni Jem for him to be able to breath. But then, Ja, upon Tita's advice, suggested if its okay to use ventilators instead. The doctor agreed but with the condition that if this wont work out, then they have to make a hole. HOLEy cow!
DEAD ENDLast night, masaya pa kaming nagbibiruan nina Ate Jo and Xing. We even talked about the "plans" by the 14th. Well, only Ate Jo and I were busy talking about it since its a surprise for Xing.
The plans.
Hayz.
Ang napaka ganda and napaka sweet na plano ni Jem this Valentines day for Xing. Want to know about it? Okay, heres the plan.
Jem wanted to surprise Xing this coming 14th. Uuwi siya, with Jaja, this Valentines for him to meet Xing in person. Well, they have something din kasi. I know they have. Anyway, so yun, surprise sana. Isipin mo, from Mainland China, to Hong Kong then finally to Naga City. He'll travel all the way from China to Naga just to meet Xing.
Then, as part of the plan, pag dating nila dito, he'll prepare a Dinner Date with Xing at their place in Villa Concepcion. Of course, kasama kami, pero siyempre, exclusive and garden para sa kanilang dalawa. While the rest of us enjoy the pleasure of the SALA! Then, He'll be the one to cook the food since he's good in cooking (may restaurant kasi sila and they own one franchise of Yellow Cab and another food chain in Manila).
Also, nagpaturo siya kay Jaja on how to play the piano. Xing knows how to play the piano. Kaya just to impress her, magpapaturo daw siya. And the songs, This I Promise You and Sway. Why those songs? The former was Jem's song for Xing. While the latter was Xing's song. May nirecord kasi si Xing na song which she sang herself and posted it in Imeem.
Then he'll buy daw ng isang boquet of white roses. Bakit white roses? 'Cause it symbolizes purity daw.
So to wrap it all up, the plan was:
1. Dinner Date. [Informal date daw sabi ni xing, cause I asked her with some options.]
2. Flowers [and not chocolates, according to xing]
3. Violin [and not piano. Jem plays the violin and any other string instruments. I guess, xing wanted to hear Jem play the violin for her.]
4. A surprise homecoming this Februray 14, 2009.
Then he even told me that he wanted to meet Xing's friends and even the family. Sabi ko na lang, he should take it out step at a time. Now, all those plans were sucked into oblivion! Nawala na ng parang bula. Isang magandang pangarap na sa isang iglap ang biglang gumuho.
I know the plan was simple or so, but its the effort that counts right?
THE END
All of the happy memories, the laughters, the 'Kakulitan', and everything else has come to a tragic end. Tragic cause at the very young age, he passed away. Just the thought of him in the hospital, with the ventilators, heart sensor and everything. Or even him with a hole in his throat, gives me goose bumps and makes me want to cry. I can't see my shoti to be in that state. or worse, dead. No, he's not dead. He's just in a vacation wherein theres no means of communication. No internet connection, no mobile signal. A very secluded place in. . . in. . . in Africa. Or. . . or. . . in the Latin Americas or in a place the we never thought existed. Yeah, thats right, he's just gone into a very long vacation. I know I'll be able to see him. I know. Someday well see each other once more.
Right now, I cant help myself but cry. I lost a very special part of my system. My life. A dear brother. A sweet brother.
Shoti, wherever you are. Don't worry too much about tita, or Ja, or Kuya Jawu, or Me. We'll be okay here. I know its hard but we'll be able to cope up with things. As for Xing, don't worry about her, Ate Joan, Jett, Khrisna, Koren, Lhet and I are here for her. Well make sure to keep her smiling. Yan naman ang gusto mo diba? To see her always smile. About your last request, I'll take care of it. I promise.
Shoti, I will surely miss you a lot. Say hi to Grace, Kuya Mike and Mamay for me up there will you? Pati na din kay Bro and Nanay. I know you're happy cause your with Them already. Just look after us, okay. And be her guardian angel.
Xing, if you'll be able to read this [I know you will, the moment you wake up], always remember na andito lang kami. Remember the status message of Ate Joan, we cried with you kanina. And this time, we'll make sure that we'll be there for you no matter what happen. We'll find a way to make you smile. And thank you so much for making my shoti happy for his remaining month. I know na 28 days palang kayo magkakilala but inspite of it, you already became a very special part of Jem. You it naman, right? You made him change and gain more of his self confidence. Thank you for all of the things that you gave to Jem.
Best, I know that your so down right now. I'm sorry if wala ako jan sa tabi mo ngayon to comfort you. But I just want you to know na andito lang ako, and my family to support you. Basta, never lose faith. I know there's something behind all these things. I know Bro has a plan kung bakit niya kinuha agad si Jem. And I think he already had fulfilled his purpose now. Best, just take good care of yourself and always pray. Just remember that Jem never left us at all. He's always with us. All we have to do is look deep within our hearts. Thats the safest place where he can stay right now. The safest place next to the Almighty. I know you'll be able to cope up with what happened, best. If not now, I know, soon you will. Just remember that I'm always here for you.
For those people who are interested to view Jem's blog, to know his thoughts and on how he fall in love, you may visit his blog or multiply site.
Now, let me just quote a song which reminded me of him.
"If life is so short, why won't you let me love you before we run out of time.
If love is so strong, why won't you take the chance before our time has gone."
If love is so strong, why won't you take the chance before our time has gone."
Finally, a poem which he wrote. I guess, this suited well. His way of saying his goodbye.
Goodbye
I'm sorry for everything I had said,
the thought of me making you cry repeats in my head.
I'm sorry I can never make you happy,
inside I feel so crappy.
I'm sorry for wasting your time,
wanted to make you have a happy life.
I'm sorry for I have failed,
never do anything right.
I'm sorry that I had to say sorry
I promise my love, my world, my girl, my perfect dark angel,
that I would never say those awful things
what hurts the most is that I broke my promise, made you cry,
most of all my dark angel
I'm sorry that I have to say goodbye.
[http://jaefenyoon.blogspot.com/2009/02/goodbye.html]
I'm sorry for everything I had said,
the thought of me making you cry repeats in my head.
I'm sorry I can never make you happy,
inside I feel so crappy.
I'm sorry for wasting your time,
wanted to make you have a happy life.
I'm sorry for I have failed,
never do anything right.
I'm sorry that I had to say sorry
I promise my love, my world, my girl, my perfect dark angel,
that I would never say those awful things
what hurts the most is that I broke my promise, made you cry,
most of all my dark angel
I'm sorry that I have to say goodbye.
[http://jaefenyoon.blogspot.com/2009/02/goodbye.html]
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