Out of all the people I cares for, including my family and closest friends, you were the one who I pictured a wonderful life with. Not any life, but the life I've always wanted and dreamed. You were a wish that came true too soon. A family that I always dreamed of. A dream that turned into a nightmare, a disappointment and a heartache.
Please believe me when I say that I forgive you. I don't hate you but most definitely hate the way you let me go. And I'll never understand how easily you did it. I'll never understand how flawlessly you forgot about me. But, I forgive you because I really loved and cared for you. I forgive you because I don't want to give you the power over the person I am and the future I could possibly have in meeting other people to take care of. I forgive you because I don't need you to tell me what the truth is. I forgive you because that's who I am. This is me letting you go for good. I'm accepting the fact that the family I dreamed of was a mere illusion. That the son I so dearly cherished is already gone. That someday, you'll be growing-up next to someone who isn't me. And that someday you be someone's good and dearest friend.
I'm letting go of hope that you'll contact me. So, I'm blocking you everywhere. I'm letting go of fantasizing that you'll tell me you're sorry about everything just one last time. That you'll tell me how much you missed me, but most importantly, that you'll show it. I'm letting go of me thinking that you'll come back because it's always been me. I'm letting you go. And it's not because I don't love and care for you still. I'm letting you go because I want to be happy. I know that without you, I'll be incomplete. But, I also know that with me around you, you will always feel the dread and anxiety, thus the hatred you may already feel towards me. So I need to find my medium place where I am happy regardless. A place without any memories of you in it, a place without a picture of you in it as well. I need to start over.
I'm letting you go because you gave up. You gave up on me, you gave up on us, you gave up on our friendship. You gave up on the family that we both shared. You gave up on our Father-and-Son relationship. And so I get it when you said you had nothing to fight for. I'm letting you go because having you has no meaning if it only stinks, if it only pains me, it only hurts the two of us. Because I can't tell what's real anymore. And because it's my last resort. I'm letting you because slowly but surely, you too, let me go.
If ever this reach you, I want to tell you that I already let you go. I will try my very best to find my inner peace, thanks to my other friends and siblings. Thank you for heling me realize that they are enough. enough to let you go. But this I will say, no matter what happen, you will always be the most caring and loving son that I ever had. You will always be treasured and will be hard to replace. You, my dearest son will always have a father in me.
Finally, you, my friends who are reading this, please keep this post to yourself. Never talk about this to anyone.
Thank you.
